Humor / Sobering / Fun - HL 316 (3)

From: dshutack@gmail.com
To: dshutack@gmail.com
Sent: 4/10/2020 1:04:10 AM Central Standard Time
Subject: Fwd: THE GLOBAL RECESSION

THE GLOBAL RECESSION



The recession has hit everybody really hard.



My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.


CEO's are now playing miniature golf.


Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.


A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.


I saw a Mormon with only one wife.


If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.


McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.


Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.


Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.


My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!


A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.


A picture is now only worth 200 words.


When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.


The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

And, finally...

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Not to brag,

but I haven’t been late

for anything

in over 3 weeks.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

If you happen to live in Michigan:

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