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Airlines news

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Humor / Sobering / Fun - HL 227 (4)



HNL Delta employees “Shaking it Off!”




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From: George


Date: 3/3/2015 3:28:50 PM


Subject: To help you understand how things happened. If you have not seen this before


 On the first day, God created the dog and said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."


The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking.  How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"  So God agreed......


 On the second day, God created the monkey and said, "Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."


The monkey said, "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"  And God agreed......


 On the third day, God created the cow and said, "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."


 The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give


back the other forty?"   And God agreed again......


 On the fourth day, God created humans and said, "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll


give you twenty years."

But the human said, "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"



 "Okay," said God.  "You asked for it." 


So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.  


 Life has now been explained to you.  There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.


 If you are looking for me I will be on the front porch.


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wonderful


1st woman president???


Only People From Kentucky


The year is 2024 and the United States has just elected the first woman as President of the United States, and she is from Kentucky!


 A few days after the election, the president-elect calls her father in Kentucky and asks, "So, Dad, I assume you will be coming to my inauguration?"


"I don't think so.  It's a long drive; your mom isn't as young as
she used to be, we'll have the dog with us, and my arthritis is acting up in my knee."


"Don't worry about it, Dad, I'll send Air Force One to pick you up and take you home, and a limousine will pick you up at your door," she said.


"I don't know. Everybody will be so fancy.  What would your mother wear?"


"Oh, Dad," she replied, "I'll make sure she has a wonderful gown custom-made by one of the best designers in N.Y."


"Honey," Dad complained, "You know we can't eat those rich foods you and your friends like to eat."


The President-elect responded, "Don't worry, Dad.  The entire affair is going to be handled by the best caterer in D.C. And I'll ensure your meals are salt-free."


So her parents reluctantly agreed, and on Jan. 20, 2024 arrived to see their daughter sworn in as President of the United States.  The parents of the new President are seated in the front row.  The President's dad sees that a Senator is sitting next to him and leans over and whispers, "You see that woman up there with her hand on the Bible, becoming President of the United States?"


The Senator whispered in reply,
"Yes, sir, I sure do."


Dad says proudly,


"Her brother played basketball for The University of Kentucky"


Yep! That would be Kentucky, Lol


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