Humor / Sobering / Fun - HL 182 (2)

Singing in Church

About those Church Hymns

A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.

 

  He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach.

  

Whatever single word I say, I want

you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."

  

The pastor shouted out "CROSS."

 

Immediately the congregation started singing in unison,

 

 

"THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."

 

 

The pastor hollered out "GRACE." The congregation

 

began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."

 

 

The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang

 

 

"THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD."

 

The Pastor said "SEX" The congregation fell into total silence.

 

Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at

 

each other, afraid to say anything.

 

Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church,

a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing

 

 

"PRECIOUS MEMORIES."

 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

From: bodie@epbfi.com

Date: 09/19/13 09:14:26

Subject: Fwd: COLLEGE FOOTBALL TRASH TALK

 

LAUGH FOR THE DAY-----

 

Ohio State's Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know the meaning of a lot of words."

 

___________________________________________

 

Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?

 

So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.
___________________________________________

 

What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?

 

Drool.
___________________________________________

 

How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?

 

None. That's a sophomore course.
___________________________________________

 

How did the Georgia football player die from drinking milk?

 

The cow fell on him.
___________________________________________

 

Two West Virginia football players were walking in the woods.

 

One of them said, "Look, a dead bird."

 

The other looked up in the sky and said, "Where?"
___________________________________________

 

A University of Cincinnati football player was almost killed yesterday in a tragic horseback-riding accident.

 

He fell from a horse and was nearly trampled to death.

 

Luckily, the manager of the Wal-Mart came out and unplugged the horse.
______________________________________________________________________________________

 

What do you say to a University of Miami Hurricane football player dressed in a three-piece suit? "

 

"Will the defendant please rise."
___________________________________________

 

If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?

 

The police officer.
___________________________________________

 

How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?

 

There's tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.
___________________________________________

 

What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?

 

A full set of teeth.
___________________________________________

 

University of Michigan Coach Brady Hoke is only going to dress half of his players for the game this week;
the other half will have to dress themselves.
___________________________________________

 

How is the Indiana football team like an opossum?

 

They play dead at home and get killed on the road.
___________________________________________

 

Why did the Nebraska linebacker steal a police car?

 

He saw "911" on the side and thought it was a Porsche.
___________________________________________

 

How do you get a former Illinois football player off your porch?

 

Pay him for the pizza.
___________________________________________

 

What are the longest three years of a University of Kentucky football player’s life?

 

Freshman I, Freshman II, and Freshman III.

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