Humor / Sobering / Fun - HL 241 (4)

From: Thomas Sweet

Date: 10/30/2015 4:41:53 PM

Subject:  Are you getting older...

How True AS I AGE,  I REALIZE THAT:

1. I talk to myself, because sometimes I need expert advice.

2. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.

3. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that needs work.

4. The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

5. When I was a child I thought nap time was punishment. Now it's like a mini-vacation.

7. The day the world runs out of wine or beer is just too terrible to think about.

8. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound!

9. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.

10. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my knees.

11. When the kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please. I text back "no" which is shorter than "yes".

12. At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

From: robert moser

Date: 11/1/2015 3:07:45 AM

To:  Mark Sztanyo

 Subject: Fwd: : What Golfers do!

 What Golfers do! ~

One afternoon Howard accidentally overturned his golf cart.

Elizabeth, a very attractive and keen golfer, who lived in a condo on the golf course, heard the noise and called out, 

"Are you okay, what's your name?”

"It’s Howard, and I’m okay, thanks," he replied.

"Howard, forget your troubles. Come up to my condo and rest for awhile, and I'll help you get the cart up later.”

"That's mighty nice of you," he answered, "but I don't think my wife would like it.”

"Oh, come on," Elizabeth insisted. She was very pretty, very sexy and so persuasive and Howard was weak.

"Well okay," he finally agreed, and added, "but my wife. won't like it.”

After a glass of scotch, and some very creative putting lessons demonstrated by Elizabeth, he thanked his host. 

"I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset.”

"Don't be silly!" Elizabeth said with a smile, "She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?”

Howard said, "Probably still under the cart!"

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This is meant as a joke.  Disregard any political statements as simply that.  The PCN is just sharing:

From: Thomas Sweet

Date: 10/28/2015 10:58:45 AM

To: Mark Sztanyo

Subject:  Special Bucket List ====THIS IS AGREAT ONE!!!

This is a good wish.  Will it ever happen?
We are getting older and our tickers aren't what they used to be…….
So here is Our Special Bucket List for 2015,16....

 HERE IS ALL WE WANT..  Smile
 1. Hillary: in prison!

 2. Put "GOD" back in America!!!

 3. Borders: Closed!

 4. Congress: On the same retirement & healthcare plans as everybody else .

 5. Congress: Obey its own laws NOW!

 6. Language: English only!

 7. Culture: Constitution, and the Bill of Rights!

 8. Drug Free: Mandatory Drug Screening before & during Welfare!

 9. NO freebies to Non-Citizens!

 10. Balance the budget.

 11. Stop giving away our money to foreign countries! Charge them for our help! We need it here.

 12. Fix the TAX CODE!

 And most of all.

 13. "RESPECT OUR MILITARY AND OUR FLAG!!"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

From: Mike Harr

Date: 10/21/2015 4:16:00 PM

To: Mike Harr

Bcc: marksztanyo

Subject: Respect

I was not aware of this tradition...

While "Cleaning of the Stones" at the National Cemetery in Holly. I noticed a quarter placed on one of the stones. Later I also noticed a nickel placed on another,stone, I was so touched with this that I took pictures. (sorry the nickel did not turn out) I googled about the coins, and found this out. I am very proud to share this.

A coin left on a headstone lets the deceased soldiers family know that somebody stopped by to pay their respect. Leaving a penny means you visited.

A nickel means that you and the deceased soldier trained at boot camp together. If you served with the soldier, you leave a dime. A quarter is very significant because it means that you were there when that soldier died.

I AM VERY PROUD TO SHARE THIS.

________________________________________________________

Mark  

Mark Sztanyo (Stăn’yō), PCN Dir & HL Editor

Pilot Communication Net from Aug 2009                           

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