From:
jdachroth@hotmail.com
To: dwskjerven@aol.com
Sent: 7/26/2015 6:55:48 P.M. Central Daylight Time
Subj: FW: What deep thinkers men are!
To: dwskjerven@aol.com
Sent: 7/26/2015 6:55:48 P.M. Central Daylight Time
Subj: FW: What deep thinkers men are!
I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and
had a cold beer. The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated
some deep thinking. My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing and I said
'nothing'.
The reason I said that instead of saying 'just thinking' is
because she would have said 'about what'. At that point I would have to explain
that men are deep thinkers about various topics which would lead to other
questions.
Finally I thought about an age old question: Is giving birth
more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? Women always maintain that giving
birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts.
Well, after another beer, and some heavy deductive thinking,
I have come up with the answer to that question. Getting kicked in the nuts is
more painful than having a baby; and here is the reason for my conclusion.
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say,
"It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know,
I think I would like another kick in the nuts."
I rest my case. Time for another beer.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From: George
Date: 7/26/2015 6:26:04 PM
Subject: Greek Bailout Explained!
It is a slow day in a little Greek
Village. The
rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.
rain is beating down and the streets are deserted.
Times are tough, everybody
is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.
On this particular day a rich
German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays
a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms
upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
German tourist is driving through the village, stops at the local hotel and lays
a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms
upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
The owner gives him some
keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the
€100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the
€100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher
takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig
farmer.
takes the €100 note and runs down the street to repay his debt to the pig
farmer.
The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads
off to pay his bill at
the supplier of feed and fuel.
the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100
note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.
note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the taverna.
The publican slips the
money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been
facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit.
money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar, who has also been
facing hard times and has had to offer him "services" on credit.
The hooker
then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the
€100 note.
then rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the
€100 note.
The hotel proprietor then places the €100 note
back on the counter
so the rich traveler will not suspect anything.
so the rich traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler
comes down the stairs, picks up the €100
note, states that the rooms are not
satisfactory, pockets the money,
and leaves town.
No one produced
anything.
No one earned anything.
However, the whole village is now out of
debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
comes down the stairs, picks up the €100
note, states that the rooms are not
satisfactory, pockets the money,
and leaves town.
No one produced
anything.
No one earned anything.
However, the whole village is now out of
debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that is how the bailout package works!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
From: Frank Caruso
Date: 7/21/2015 8:53:08 AM
Subject: A Machine in the Co-Pilot’s Seat
Mark,
Here is a good one for your newsletter.
“There goes your job”
Frank Caruso
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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